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    Finding comfort
August 8, 2009

Duncan woman finds comfort in writing from the heart

Brown has learned writing can be good therapy

Jayne Boykin

DUNCAN — Everyone is touched by grief in some way. Be it the loss of a loved one, regret over an unrealized dream, or a hurtful experience suffered in life, everyone must deal with sadness.

Kelly Brown of Duncan has learned that writing can be a form of therapy for dealing with life’s ups and downs, and is compiling a book, “Letters from the Heart,” featuring both her own thoughts and those of others who shared their feelings with her.

“After the sudden, tragic death of my father five years ago, I realized that we all carry a burden and found that through writing I was able to release a lot of what I was feeling.

“I felt like if I could just write a letter to my dad, that I would not have that burden anymore and have more time to focus and encourage others who go through the journey with me,” Brown said.

She decided to write an “open book,” and give people everywhere the opportunity to participate. So far, she has about 20 letters from people across the United States who experienced their time to let go.

“It doesn’t mean they’re saying goodbye. It is just time for some sort of closure in their lives, and they’ve been willing to share their thoughts. When we go through a loss, we feel so alone, and through this project, people can learn that they’re not alone. Sometimes we feel bad because of something we did or did not do to that person. Forgiving yourself is most difficult, it’s easier to forgive somebody else.

“You will never have peace with a loss until you experience peace with yourself. In time, the mountains do get smaller,” she said. “I want people to feel connected, not alone. At peace with themselves.”

Brown has been working with motivational speaker and author Wade Younger from Charlotte, N.C., whom she met at a Dr. Phil “Get Real” retreat last year in Los Angeles. For four days, 14 people lived together in a house, with cameras following them 24 hours a day. Twelve hours of each day were spent in a television studio, where Dr. Phil gave lectures. Participants in the retreat were there to deal with a variety of problems. Some, like Brown, were grieving the loss of a love one. Others had been victimized in various ways or were dealing with the effects of wrong life choices they had made. Being together and sharing their experiences was pretty intense, Brown said, but also very helpful for many of them.

The people who participated in the retreat are also writing a book about their experiences, Brown noted.

“When we experience a loss, we need to feel connected, feel inner strength, peace within ourselves. Our souls are broken, and will never be the same again, but we can learn to live again. I visualize my body like a puzzle — shattered by grief. I can put it back together again, but one piece, shaped like a heart, will never fit right again.

“I encourage people who have lost a loved one or feels sorry for something they did to hurt somebody to write about their feelings. They may or may not feel like sharing, but it’s something they need to do for themselves. Just sit down and start out ‘Dear ______’ and let it all pour out,” Brown said.

For those who would like to contact her and perhaps share a letter they’ve written to a loved one to be included in the book, e-mail Brown at kellymichelle14@gmail.com for information. She has a deadline of Sept. 1 to get her first book to the publisher, but she is hoping to continue the project in subsequent editions.

“I hope it’s a never-ending thing and will keep on, similar to the ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ series that has inspired so many people,” she said.

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